Post by redditchlady on Nov 4, 2005 10:00:14 GMT
Had these sent to me and thought Id share.
Some time ago, President Clinton was hosting a state dinner when, at the last minute, his regular cook fell ill, and they had to get a
replacement on short notice.
The fellow and turned out to be a very grubby-looking man named Jon.
The President voiced his concerns to his Chief of Staff but was told that this was the best they could do on such short notice.
Just before the meal, the President noticed the cook sticking his
finger in the soup to taste it and again complained to the Chief of
Staff, but he was told that this man was supposed to be a very good
chef.
The meal went okay, but the President was sure that the soup tasted a
little funny. By the time dessert came, he was starting to have stomach cramps and nausea.
It was getting worse and worse until finally the President had to
excuse himself from the dinner to look for the bathroom.
Passing through the kitchen, he caught sight of the cook, Jon, scratching his rear end, which made him feel even worse.
By now, the President was desperately ill with violent cramps and was so disorientated that he couldn't remember which door led to the bathroom.
He was on the verge of passing out from the pain when he finally found
a door that opened. As he unzipped his trousers and ran in, he realized
to his horror that he had stumbled into Monica Lewinsky's office with
his trousers around his knees.
As he was just about to pass out, she bent over him and heard the
President whisper in a barely audible voice, "Sack my cook."
And that is how the whole misunderstanding occurred.
So, the owner of this pharmacy walks in to find a guy leaning heavily
against a wall. The owner asks the assistant "What's with that guy over
there by the wall?"
The assistant goes "Well, he came in here this morning to get something for his cough. I couldn't find the cough syrup, so I gave him an entire bottle of laxative."
The pharmacist goes "You idiot!" You can't treat a cough with a bottle of laxatives!"
The assistant goes "Of course you can! Look at him; he's afraid to cough
On Christmas morning a cop on horseback is sitting at a traffic light,
and next to him is a kid on his brand new bike. The cop says to the kid, "Nice bike you got there. Did Santa bring that to you?"
The kid says, "Yeah."
The cop says, "Well, next year tell Santa to put a tail-light on that bike."
The cop then proceeds to issue the kid a £20.00 bicycle safety Violation ticket.
The kid takes the ticket and before the cop rides off says, "By the way, that's a nice horse you got there. Did Santa bring that to you?"
Humoring the kid, the cop says, "Yeah, he sure did."
The kid says, "Well, next year tell Santa to put the thingy underneath the horse, instead of on top."
Now the other Mod may Mod me
Some time ago, President Clinton was hosting a state dinner when, at the last minute, his regular cook fell ill, and they had to get a
replacement on short notice.
The fellow and turned out to be a very grubby-looking man named Jon.
The President voiced his concerns to his Chief of Staff but was told that this was the best they could do on such short notice.
Just before the meal, the President noticed the cook sticking his
finger in the soup to taste it and again complained to the Chief of
Staff, but he was told that this man was supposed to be a very good
chef.
The meal went okay, but the President was sure that the soup tasted a
little funny. By the time dessert came, he was starting to have stomach cramps and nausea.
It was getting worse and worse until finally the President had to
excuse himself from the dinner to look for the bathroom.
Passing through the kitchen, he caught sight of the cook, Jon, scratching his rear end, which made him feel even worse.
By now, the President was desperately ill with violent cramps and was so disorientated that he couldn't remember which door led to the bathroom.
He was on the verge of passing out from the pain when he finally found
a door that opened. As he unzipped his trousers and ran in, he realized
to his horror that he had stumbled into Monica Lewinsky's office with
his trousers around his knees.
As he was just about to pass out, she bent over him and heard the
President whisper in a barely audible voice, "Sack my cook."
And that is how the whole misunderstanding occurred.
So, the owner of this pharmacy walks in to find a guy leaning heavily
against a wall. The owner asks the assistant "What's with that guy over
there by the wall?"
The assistant goes "Well, he came in here this morning to get something for his cough. I couldn't find the cough syrup, so I gave him an entire bottle of laxative."
The pharmacist goes "You idiot!" You can't treat a cough with a bottle of laxatives!"
The assistant goes "Of course you can! Look at him; he's afraid to cough
On Christmas morning a cop on horseback is sitting at a traffic light,
and next to him is a kid on his brand new bike. The cop says to the kid, "Nice bike you got there. Did Santa bring that to you?"
The kid says, "Yeah."
The cop says, "Well, next year tell Santa to put a tail-light on that bike."
The cop then proceeds to issue the kid a £20.00 bicycle safety Violation ticket.
The kid takes the ticket and before the cop rides off says, "By the way, that's a nice horse you got there. Did Santa bring that to you?"
Humoring the kid, the cop says, "Yeah, he sure did."
The kid says, "Well, next year tell Santa to put the thingy underneath the horse, instead of on top."
Now the other Mod may Mod me
